And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
