hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
