so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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