So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
