watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
