I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
