My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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