I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
