His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
