So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Damn victory sex feels great
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
