I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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