he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
