I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
