Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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