I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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