i think my tv is drunk
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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