Swine flu. Run for my life!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I need water and some morals
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