If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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