Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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