On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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