yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
