Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
PANTIES FOUND
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