lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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