After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
