I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
