I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
