I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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