he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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