Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Say something about gay babies.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
