I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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