Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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