The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
