Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
