we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
