giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
