Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
