the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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