I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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