what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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