I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
