turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
