After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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