he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
