I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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