You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
