You work out of a Hotel?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she pinky promised me she was 18
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
