he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
