Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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