Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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