You're completely useless in the revolution.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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