I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I have aggressive nipples.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
