The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
