So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
